Once in an era, there comes a talent that is so remarkable and spellbinding, it transports all who come into contact, to a space all of its own. Bollywood actress Kajol is such a talent. Looking back at her exceptional career, we still revel in her unforgettable performances in blockbusters such as Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995), Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998), Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (2001) and Fanaa (2006) — all roles where she was awarded the coveted Filmfare Best Actress Award.
Hailing from one of the Indian film industry’s longest running filmi families which includes thespian silver screen actresses Tanuja (mother) and Nutan (aunt), current notable stars Rani Mukherjee and Mohnish Behl (cousins) and her actor/director husband Ajay Devgan, it seems to be a no-brainer that Kajol was born to live film.
My heart-to-heart with her revealed why this acclaimed actress slowed things down at the height of her career when she decided to get married and start a family. This daughter, sister, actress, wife and mother shared tidbits with me about how she now chooses what films to do, what it was about My Name Is Khan that made it an opportunity she didn’t want to miss, and why her life is so much more than Kajol the actress we all know and love!
Read on…
You belong to a family of generations of film professionals from producers to actors, so it’s no wonder that you would foray into the industry yourself. What I’d like to know is how early on did you know that you were going to follow in your family’s footsteps?
You know, frankly, I never really thought about it. This was one thing I didn’t want to do. (Laughs) I never wanted to get into films, it was something that kind of happened to me and you know, it was one of those on-the-spur-moment kind of decisions. I never really planned to be an actress — in fact, I used to tell my mommy, “you know, out of all the things that I want to be in life, I do not want to be an actor, because I think you work too hard-(laughs) and I don’t want to work this hard in my life.” So, I think it just kind of happened to me really.
You know, frankly, I never really thought about it. This was one thing I didn’t want to do. (Laughs) I never wanted to get into films, it was something that kind of happened to me and you know, it was one of those on-the-spur-moment kind of decisions. I never really planned to be an actress — in fact, I used to tell my mommy, “you know, out of all the things that I want to be in life, I do not want to be an actor, because I think you work too hard-(laughs) and I don’t want to work this hard in my life.” So, I think it just kind of happened to me really.
And do you remember the exact moment when you thought, “You know what, I’m going to try out for my first movie (Bekhudi, 1992)?”
Uh yeah! I actually do. I was a little nervous and I wasn’t really sure whether I should do it or not. Rahul Uncle (Rahul Rawail) was my first director, Mickey Contractor was going to be doing my makeup, Gotham was going to write the script and everybody was pampering me and taking care of me, so I just thought “Oh my God, I’ll have so much fun if I do this!” I’ll have all my friends around me and everybody will be taking care of me so I’ll be fine. So I went ahead and I said yes. I didn’t really think of becoming a (fully-fledged) actor at that point. I thought, you know I’ll do this one film and then we’ll see after that. And then, it kind of became a regular deal.
So what would you say has been the most valuable lesson that you’ve learnt from your acting career?
I think there are just so many. (Pause) I think the most valuable lesson that I’ve learnt is to live in the moment, and to truly appreciate each and every person in my family because I didn’t meet them for such a long time due to time constraints with my work schedule when I was a fully-fledged actor. Also, just to appreciate each and every moment and to live (like) that.
So who from your family has mostly influenced you in regards to acting and learning the skill of acting?
You know, I don’t know whether they’ve influenced me as far as my work is concerned, but aside from my work, my mom and dad have influenced me a lot. I think my whole family, just out of watching them you know, because they all worked really, really hard. They are all very independent people. They have a lot of ethics and expect you to do the right thing. I remember my dad actually asking me just before I gave my first shot for the Mohura Thanir, “Are you sure you want to do this? Because once you put the grease paint on, it’s never gonna come off; it’ll be there for the rest of your life!” I was like, “Are you mad Dad?!” (Laughs) He’s like “You can’t drop off in the middle of a film you know. I know you’re only 16 years old but you can’t decide in the middle of the film that you don’t want to do this anymore because a lot of people will be depending on you as there’ll be a lot of money riding on you. It’s a big responsibility.” I looked at him and was like, “Don’t worry, I’ll finish this film. (Laughs) I don’t know if I’ll do anymore after that but I will finish this film, I promise you.” I don’t know if I realized the extent of what I would be committing myself to as a career at that point of time.
Have there been any actresses, either in the Indian film industry or in Hollywood that have influenced you as an actress?
I don’t think that anybody can influence anybody. I think you can appreciate somebody’s performance and it’s great when you do, but the minute you let them influence you, somewhere down the line, you lose out on your originality.
I don’t think that anybody can influence anybody. I think you can appreciate somebody’s performance and it’s great when you do, but the minute you let them influence you, somewhere down the line, you lose out on your originality.
And that’s something that I hope never happens to me. Having said that, there’s a lot of actresses that I find are fantastic at what they deliver like Sri Devi, Madhuri, Rekha, my mother, my aunt . . . so I mean, I think they are all amazing actresses. They are seriously fantastic.
So out of all the roles that you’ve played, is there one particular character that has stood out for you, that you found to be really challenging to play?
No. I’m quite easy that way. I’m able to be in the moment quite happily when in front of a camera. I’ve trained myself.
From the films that you’ve done, are there any movies that you look back on and say “oh my God, I should not have done that movie!”?
Oh, quite a few. Not “I should not have done the film”, but “oh my God, I don’t want to revisit that time.”
(Laughs)
Let’s put it this way, I wouldn’t say I shouldn’t have done it because I feel each and every one of my films, including the ones that I don’t want to ever watch again, (laughs) are films that I have learnt a lot from. I really have. I have learnt from each and every experience so, if you ask me what I regret, I don’t regret. I truly don’t. And I don’t because I don’t believe in it, because if it’s a mistake then I’ve learnt from it. If it’s something that is bad that’s happened to me, then it’s an experience that has formed me and made me who and what I am today. So, I can’t say that it’s something that I would regret.
So, which are those movies that you would never want to watch again?
I’m not going to say that.
(Laughs)
(Laughs) I’m really not gonna say that.
But you know I had to ask right?
Yes. (Laughs)
If you had to pick one valuable lesson that you’ve learnt from your entire experience in the film industry, what would you say that would be and why?
Do your work well and be as professional as possible. I think your personal life is your personal life and you should leave it at home when you go to work.
Well said! What advice would you give to all of these upcoming girls who are looking to forge a career in the Indian film industry? What would be the key advice you would want them to know based on the fact that you’ve been there and done it?
I don’t know whether I have any advice per se. You know, different strokes for different folks really. What works for you, you know.
That’s good advice!
As I said before, I think (telling someone to work) hard is the best advice you can give somebody. Work hard, work very hard. Don’t get scared of hard work, because that’s the one thing that will pay off, no matter what happens. I think most people today think that getting into the film industry is somewhat of an easy life —we’re going to have somebody do our hair and makeup and hey, we’re going to wear pretty clothes and dance around all day and it’s going to be so much fun, and it isn’t! It is a lot of work. Long hours, waking up early in the mornings, having to watch what you eat, watch what you drink, watch where you drink, watch what you say-it’s a lot of work. You have to change your entire personality to be at the top. I’m saying, know what it is — recognize it.
What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever received about your acting?
Once an old woman came up to me and she said “I have to tell you that you remind me so much of my granddaughter.” Also, I’ve gotten so many blessings along the way and I think that where I am today is because of that. It’s because of everybody just blessing me. In today’s day and age, when you touch somebody’s feet, it’s considered somewhat odd. People look at me a little strangely and think “oh you’re touching somebody’s feet,” and I’m like “there’s nothing wrong with asking for blessings as I believe that a blessing is the best thing that you can get-that’s the best gift that someone can give you.
There’s a lot that’s been written about your long-time relationships with Shah Rukh and Karan. What do you believe is the magic that results in success every time you all work together?
It’s luck, mixed with a helluva lot of hard work. I think all three of us know how to work hard, and we’re willing to put our best foot forward each and every time. Plus, I think it also has to do with the fact that we’re truly honest with each other. I mean, if it’s not working, we all agree and admit it. And we each care about one another. I want Karan to make a good film-I’m not only worried about myself, and Shah Rukh wants me to give a good performance, and I want him to give a good performance. And you know, we’re all worried about each other, and we’re all there to back each other up and to take care of each other. So I think that’s where the magic is. When you have that much trust and faith in the people around you, somewhere down the line, it always works.
Why did you choose to do My Name Is Khan?
What about your character did you like?
Because a) I found the script fantastic, b) I had faith that Karan would be able to make a great script into a great film, c) I knew Karan would do justice to my character Mandira, (and) d) it was all three of us together again after so long. (Laughs)
What about your character did you like?
I thought she was funny and mad, and she sounded like a wonderful person that I would like to meet one day.
What do you want the audience to get out of watching this movie?
I just want them to go in wanting to watch a good movie. Yeah. Really. I think I just want them to go in thinking “hey, I’m going to watch a great film, I’m going to have a good time, and I think I’m going to really like this film.” (Laughs) As adults, we all lose that childlike way of looking at the world. We lose that clarity of looking at the world. We have all our experiences and we have all our mental barriers which form these little specs in front of our eyes. So whenever-whatever we see, it’s always a little coloured, it’s always a little different from what it actually is. And we lose our faith in humanity. We don’t believe that our next-door neighbour is going to turn around and help us out if there is a problem. We don’t believe that there is goodness in humanity you know. We’ve stopped believing, so hopefully when people watch My Name Is Khan, they will believe in that again somewhere down the line.
What’s your favourite movie of all time and why?
A favourite of my own is Udhaar Ki Zindagi. That’s my favourite from my own personal repertoire. I’m not a big movie buff, but there are lots of performances that I admire. I’d have to say my other favorites are Sholay and right now Avatar.
You come from a family of strong and accomplished female role models, who like you, have been or are in the film industry, like your mum, aunt and cousin, Rani. How has being a part of this legacy influenced you?
When you live with very strong people who have very strong personalities, you are bound to be influenced by them. It defines your own space and individuality. I was very fortunate growing up because they all encouraged me to be my own person which meant being an individual. I am eternally grateful for my upbringing and it’s greatly influenced my personality. My personality comes across on screen. It’s always been my strength. It’s very difficult for me to play a weak and defenseless person.
What have you learned from them about being a woman that has influenced you in forging your own identity as an equally strong personality?
I have learned so much from them. I’ve learned that strength cannot be brittle. You cannot be so strong that you cannot bend. Your biggest strength is the ability to adapt and survive. That is the core of any strength.
Does this have anything to do with why you’re such an advocate for women-related initiatives and charities?
I’m not sure if that’s the reason why. It’s really just me being a woman. Society makes men believe they are stronger than women and most women believe it too. But when push comes to shove, women come to realize and believe they are stronger than men. Women may not be able to push a heavy door but they will push a man to the brink of madness! (Laughs)
And now as a mother, what elements of what you’ve learned from those that have influenced you as well as your own life lessons do you feel are the most important for your daughter to learn?
I want her to learn that she is not defined by a gender. There are good things about being a woman and she should be proud of each aspect-the weaknesses and the strengths. I want her to be a wonderful, strong individual. And I hope I’m strong enough to give her the chance.
Does your daughter have the acting bug yet?
No, no acting bug yet.
Knowing what you know about the film industry, how do you feel about the potential of your daughter following in your footsteps?
I will support her in whatever she wants to do and whatever makes her happy. If after her schooling she wants to act, I will support her in that.
What’s the single greatest pleasure you get out of being a mother?
The greatest pleasure is that every morning I wake up and know I am a mom. I know it’s a gift from God and I don’t take it for granted. Every day I thank God for this present and I’m grateful for his gift to me. It is my gift and I will treat her with all the love and care she deserves.
And being a wife?
The greatest pleasure in being a wife is having someone behind me and someone standing with me and supporting me in anything. And also having someone to kick my ass if I do something wrong or do something that is going to hurt me. The pleasure is more from being part of a couple rather than being a “wife.” There are too many negative connotations with the word “wife”. I see it as more of a partnership.
What is it like being directed by your husband Ajay, as you’ve both worked on some of his home productions?
It is GREAT. Because he is the finest director I’ve ever had in my life. Professionally and personally. He is BRILLIANT. His years and experience as an actor have made him a better director. Because of his acting background, he understands the problems and challenges you can face, and circumvents them. Because of his background he makes everything less painful for actors and makes it possible for them to do their best work.
You’ve also worked with your cousin Rani on a couple of movies. It must have been a real riot working together. Share a story.
I have worked with her on exactly one film (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai). And it was GREAT. She is an amazing actress and it was so much fun.
This issue of ANOKHI Magazine is dedicated to beauty. Bearing that in mind, what defines beauty?
Beauty comes from within. You need to believe it. Beauty is about self respect and comes from your attitude. Your inner self is much more important than your outer self.
In today’s society where beauty has become synonymous with expectations that are quite demanding on young girls and women, what advice would you give to women who feel they have to follow certain ideologies and expectations that in many ways put a lot of pressure on them to define themselves in terms of how society defines beauty?
In today’s society where beauty has become synonymous with expectations that are quite demanding on young girls and women, what advice would you give to women who feel they have to follow certain ideologies and expectations that in many ways put a lot of pressure on them to define themselves in terms of how society defines beauty?
First of all, giving into peer pressure on any account is wrong. You need to think for yourself. Don’t follow trends. You need to do what feels and looks good on you. I always say, the best accessory is a smile. It’s not Louis Vuitton or Gucci—it’s just your own smile.
First published in The Beauty Issue, March 2010, www.AnokhiMagazine.com
Cover Photography by Joy Dutta
Publicity Photos Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures (My Name Is Khan); Red carpet photos by Fotocorp
Publicity Photos Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures (My Name Is Khan); Red carpet photos by Fotocorp
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